Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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