i barfeds in our rink
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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