The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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