if you like me you must not know who I am
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
