Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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