There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
