All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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