Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
