You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
