if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
