I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
