We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
