Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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