I hate your face
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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