I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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