i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
