whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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