Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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