He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just forgot I was standing up.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
