Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize