dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
another moral hangover. fuck.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
