Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
