I feel like abortions should bother me more
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
