That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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