I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
