Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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