I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
