wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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