Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
