Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hell yes lets make some ravioli
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
