I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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