i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
