Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
