so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Let's get the cat blown out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
