ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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