But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
