Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
