I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
there's paper in my vomit.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
