i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
