Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
