After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
