this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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