so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
