i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
