Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she looked like the before picture.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize