True but thats because hes a fetus.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
