yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
