8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
