cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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