Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize
