He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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