The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
