i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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