Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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