my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
