get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So vagazzling was a success
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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