Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
